Friday, January 8, 2010

What is happiness?

The other night I caught parts of a show Denise was watching on PBS called This Emotional Life: rethinking happiness, it was quite interesting and as titled did get me thinking. I did not agree with all that was said (I more believe we derive our own happiness from within and should not be so reliant on others for it), but it certainly did make some good points. The point is….we all need to think more about happiness and what it means to us. We should think more about what each of us can do to first make ourselves happy and then in turn to help those around us to find some joy in their days. It’s so easy to get caught up in the day to day grind and lose track of what it’s all for, what life is all about. Life should be about being happy and making others happy. Now I don’t think any sane person is happy all the time, but many of us have very little real joy in life. I for one have and continue to face huge challenges every day and as most would attest do a pretty good job of remaining happy and positive. It always amazes me how many people are truly miserable with their daily existence yet feel powerless to do anything about it. Hint….you can change many things in order to lead a better existence….really you can, trust me.

I have to say through the past year so many people have shown such love and caring for me that it’s almost overwhelming. The emails, cards and posts mean the world to me. I’m not the best at accepting emotional outpouring (I have been called the tin man and part Vulcan over the years….LOL) as I am more analytical than emotional and at times use humor to mask it all. So, I want to take a moment and whole heartily thank you all for the joy you have and continue to bring me in my life and hope I can over time return in kind. As my friend Chris said if it makes it easier for me to accept the help I’m going to need, he will keep a list and make sure I repay…LOL, now that’s a friend that gets me.

Now on the health front, yesterday I received my schedule for my three day evaluation appointment. It looks like two solid action packed days of meeting with near a dozen people and getting every orifice poked and prodded, followed by a third day where they decide to make their own holes and probe even further. All I can say is it should be an interesting few days. Which is really the way I’m looking at all of this, it’s an experience and one I’m hoping to come out of better than I went in. After all, life is not only about a destination. If we focus too much on where we want to be, we lose what we currently have. I for one have a lot of living to do before the big transplant event. It may not be action packed due to my health limitations but I guarantee it will be fun one way or another. My life will certainly be different after transplant and hopefully rewarding in different ways, but there is still tons of time to enjoy before the big day also.


  1. It can be pretty hard to be happy while you wait. But it seems like you realize that so maybe you have the power to stay happy throughout if you start to prepare now. I don't know, we all have our bad days, even without thinking about CF and transplant.

  2. oh no doubt Jess, it's a daily struggle and I am by no means always happy. But I just try to focus on what I do and can have, and let the future come. I'm believe we can't change the past so let it go we can't predict the live in the now. My now is completely different from a year ago, but it's all I have.

  3. I could build on that by saying plan for the future of course, but not at the total expense of now.

  4. Hello. I just found your blog and just went though what you are facing. Please don't hesitate to contact me. I have been active on the transplant list since July 6th at Brigham and Women's in Boston.